Good news is I’ve been working on a few writing projects (as well as making a greater push in my other professional aspirations). The bad news is I haven’t written that one scene I mentioned for

    A House Divided

and I still wish to. Though I have started to take that approach on another story that’s be dancing around in my head.

Once I finish that particular scene I want to find the end of that story. I’ve learned and relearned that I must know how I want my stories to end before I even begin outlining them. I need those firm pillars planted in the ground. It’s odd how despite taking dozens of writing classes I can’t recall ever having been taught that before.

I suppose it’s one of those things that should be obvious, so why would you point it out or need to teach it? I guess I’m that example of why it should be done. It’s things like this that often make me feel like I’m only an eighth as smart as the last book I read. Things that many folks find obvious seem to elude me. Then again I know many times I’ve felt like my friends think I’m an idiot while internally I’m certain they are acting the part of the fool.

Despite those times when I’ve felt heads and tails above others I feel those times are few and far between. I’m glad that I don’t often feel better than everyone else – I don’t wish to lose sight of my own limitations or become an arrogant prick – but I could do without the endless self doubt. I do not trust myself, and have proven time and time again that I am my own worst enemy.

Hopefully I can continue to read intelligent books and push back against myself.