Ah, whatever, you’re here now.  Uh..welcome? I am your host, Jessica! Or Jess. Or Koala Jess.  I guess you’re here to view my stuff, huh? Well, sorry, there’s nothing here for you to se- hey, don’t you click on the menu link at the top! Don’t do i- ah, now look what you did.  Fine, fine, go ahead, click on one of those links that just came out of nowhere because you didn’t listen to me.  I don’t know what you’ll find but it won’t be pretty.

Whenever you’re done rummaging through my things, go ahead and click on the circle in the top right with the white star in it.  Yeah, that one.  That one will probably take you back to wherever you came from.  I say probably because maybe you have this site bookmarked for some reason.  That’s weird.  Don’t do that.

Or do, I’m just introduction text, not a cop.